A place for anything and everything that comes to mind.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Life--Won, School--0

I show up to class with hair horrible, a hoodie on (that may or may not have had spit off scrubbed off the left shoulder five minutes before I left the house--I'll let you guess which), no make-up, and completely disheveled.  I feel like I've been perpetually running behind since last week.  I didn't get my readings done, I did complete the writing components of my two classes today, but I still haven't picked a story out to tell in two weeks or started the paper I have due next week.  Oh, and I maybe should start the research for that, too?

What is going on with me???

This one might have something to do with it...

Or, this one...

Maybe this one...

School with three kids is definitely different than anything I've ever done before.  It's cool, because I get to show my older kids what it's like to be a student.  It's not cool when I don't have time to give the effort to papers and assignments that I want.

This experience, though, is teaching me to roll with the punches.  I am not a 23-year-old singleton with boundless energy and all time focused on this degree.   I don't have countless hours to join different associations, complete many volunteer hours, or cow-tow to awesome faculty members.  It's different getting a degree with family responsibilities, but I wouldn't change where I am for the world.  I am super blessed.  

Life beat out school this week, but I hope to be more balanced for the rest of the semester--heck the rest of the time it takes me to earn this degree--budgeting my time better while still giving crazy loves to my bebes and hubby.  This is awesome: being a mom, wife, AND student.  I just hope to be better at it next week.  I also hope to not beat myself up so much when Life wins sometimes, because it definitely will.

Thursday, February 13, 2014


Yesterday I was talking to a friend at school.  I missed a dinner date she had set up with a few other girlfriends last week, because I was just feeling a bit under the weather.  (With a constant winter of snow and ice, feeling sucky thanks to sniffles and headache has gotten to us all.)  I told her that we should start a Dinner Club, that I was officially naming it Dinner Club, and then I asked when the next Dinner Club would be.  She told me they were planning on getting together but at someone's house....without food. 

I didn't get it.

Without food?

What was this crazy moon language?

It was with this simple statement delivered from her and my quick subsequent thoughts, that I did not hold in but vocalized, that I realized food is EVERYTHING.  Forget Elvis, forget the Beatles, FOOD is EVERYTHING.

It's how I socialize.  It's how I show others I care.  It's how I comfort those in need of hugs and support.  It's how I celebrate with those who have just had a new baby.  It's all about food.  I can be creative, mix things together, and revel in a new dish I created.  I can be transported back to my grandmother's small, crowded kitchen when I try to re-create perfect mashed potatoes that would make her proud.  I can spend time with my daughter, teaching her how to use kitchen tools, and then have her school me by saying, "Mama, don't forget to curve your fingers, so they don't get cut," when I was dicing onions.  (For.  Reals.  I almost died.)   

I've struggled with my body image my whole life, but after this third baby I've been looking down and finally, FINALLY saying, "Yup, this is it."  THIS is me.  I might fluctuate here and there, but I'm always gonna be a solid girl.  I got hips, I got a butt, I got big thighs.  It's me.  And, it's all from food...I don't even mind.  I will strive to eat healthy and totally balloon, but I am who I am.  

Later in the same day, another friend asked what I was eating for lunch.  It was quinoa chili.  She asked, "Oh, are you vegetarian?"  To which I replied, "Nope.  I just love food.  Give me meat.  Give me veggies and tofu.  I LOVE it all."  Well...I guess I don't want to eat live octopus that sticks to your tongue and mouth, but I'm game to most things. 

Monday, February 03, 2014


So here I am sitting at Panera reading about writing as a technology.  How great thinkers, like Plato, abhorred it, because it forced people to memorize less and rely more on stale, unresponsive symbols instead of the transmission of thoughts orally (which is more raw and honest).  All of this reading about writing as media, and I cannot help but hate the technology that was to my right.

A mom and daughter came in. cute!, I thought.  A mommy-daughter date.  *sigh*  Within seconds, the daughter pulled out her iPhone and completely ignored her mother for the duration of their too-quick meal.  It was a light lunch: a salad for both.  Mom kept trying to engage Daughter: asking what she should make for dinner...Maybe vegetable soup?  Maybe lasagna?  Daughter kept her eyes glued to her phone while making gagging noises.  Mom tries to change the subject to shopping, a subject that I judged Daughter would love, what with her Uggs on, French manicured nails, and acid-washed skinny jeans.  Still no interaction.  Just a long, one-sided convo on behalf of Mom.  Mom even tried talking about a salon trip, but again, no real interaction from Daughter, apart from some hems, haws, and guffaws.

I was so sad.  (And, I of course started to imagine my kids and husband sitting around the table glued to their phones while I just sit and try to talk to them.)  I wanted to weep for Mom, trying so hard to have a nice time with her daughter.  I just cannot, CANNOT stress how important it is to leave tech away from family time.  I love technology as much as the next person: don't even get me started on my adoration of the Roku, I love my iPod, I love my MacBook I'm using right now, I LOVE taking pics of my wee ones on my iPhone, but pretty soon we're all going to end up Cybermen, like in Season 2 of Doctor Who.  It just scares me to see communication deteriorate so rapidly over the past few years.  I have friends I can't even call, because they don't like to talk on the phone but would rather text.  Then I'm texting a convo, which leads me to multi-task at home, where a real phone conversation would demand all of my attention...not to mention LOVE, CARE, and TIME.

Can we all just hold back a little?  Put the tech away during dinner?  Leave the texting to later (cause if something's THAT SERIOUS, they'll call)?  Try some old-school tech sometime and WRITE somebody a NOTE?  Hey, Plato may not be too thrilled with that choice, but I know I would.

rant: fin