How to Name Your Car

When it comes to naming a car, the most important thing to take into consideration is what the car looks like/what personality she has. Secondly, you need to take into account what the car is going to do for you. Finally, you have to talk to her to make sure she's happy with her new nom de plume.

EXAMPLE 1: 1986 gray VW Jetta with a hand crank sunroof (and Blaupunkt cassette player/stereo system!), named GLADYS. Part of the reason for this sweet girl's name was her license plate--GRCLND 3. Also, she was a bit old and definitely well loved, just like Elvis' mama. She was my first, my greatest; we only had 7 years together. Others may come and go, but Gladys was the best. Just ask my friend, Michael Wayne. He'll tell you how much he loved crankin' that sunroof open and blasting some sweet, one-of-a-kind mix tapes from das Blaupunkt. Oh, Gladys, where are you now? I had to relinquish ownership when an elderly gentleman ran a red light and hit me in the passenger side. One of the scariest, saddest, moments of my life.

EXAMPLE 2: 2004 white Pontiac Grand Prix, named ANGIE (short for Angelina). This one's name was almost instantaneous. As I looked at her, I thought, Strong, sleek, and sexy...just like my Miss Jolie. Hence, her name was born. This was also the "newest" car I had ever owned: bought it in 2006. She's still with us, but with two kids, we wanted to have two safe cars, so...

EXAMPLE 3: 2012 cosmic gray (ie, black) Toyota Camry, named LOIS THATCH MARIE. Oh, me and my new gal had a great convo on the way home from the dealership. She smells so good. I told her that she's going to be responsible for taking care of us, smart & responsible, but she's still bold, daring, and maturely sexy. What woman did I know that fit all this criteria??? Well, I thought of three, and her name fell out of my mouth so quickly. Lois Thatch Marie, LTM for short, just rolled off my lips. Lois for Lane, Thatch short for Thatcher, and Marie as in Antoinette. Three bold, daring ladies who have shaped pop culture and history. DONE!

And, THAT'S how you name your lady!!!