Oh, the Horror...THE HORROR!

I knew I'd watch it...eventually. I had a feeling it would totally freak me out...and it did. As I was watching the pilot episode last night (on demand), I knew as repulsed/freaked/weirded out as I was, I'd end up watching the rest of them.

American Horror Story is Amityville Horror times a million. Why times a million?

1. It's on EVERY week. You don't get a breather. You think it's over, but you know it'll be back next week, and you know you'll end up watching, even if you don't want to. (I will at least. My good friend, Coco? Definitely not. I hope she forgives me for making her watch last night.)
2. Jessica Lange is the creepiest old snooping neighbor EVER. She was the only good part of that 1998 Johnathon Schaech movie, Hush, and her character is reminiscent of Schaech's overly protective icky mom. If she doesn't get a Golden Globe or Emmy for this, I'm striking.
3. Two words: GINGER TWINS. This would be enough to make my brother watch.
4. There are weird, kinky sex things that just aren't right. Um, leather man drilling Connie Britton? Enough said. (And, so sorry to leave that visual in your head.)
5. The opening titles and flashes throughout the show are very Seven-Fincheresque. I'm repulsed and intrigued at the same time. These montages also fuh-reak me out and make me want to watch more. 6. WHAT'S IN THE BASEMENT!?!? It's always a basement. It better not be a scary white guy who killed Native Americans, cause then I'll call shenanigans. If I'm investing my time and sanity in this, there better not be an Amityville copout.

As icky and creepy as this FX original show is, I give the network, actors, and all those involved mad props for trying something so out of the box for TV. My husband loves Walking Dead, but it's too real for me to ever watch and enjoy. (I can imagine my children becoming zombies, us having to abandon them, and then I get depressed and cry.) American Horror Story is just far enough out there for me to believe it could never happen. I can still get spooked and be okay afterwards...I think. We'll have to see how episode two leaves me.