PJ 20

The much-anticipated Cameron Crowe feature-length documentary, PJ 20, is being screened worldwide tomorrow. I feel it is high time to try to vocalize, or writalize, some Pearl Jam sentiments...though I know they'll just come out sounding unworthy of this band that I have followed for the past 20 years.

Writing that last sentence makes me feel old, yet proud. I am so proud to have been able to say I've followed Pearl Jam since their inception. (And, there's another small word: "followed." So many of the words I will put down will be small, inconsequential, and seemingly daft when talking about such a monumental group of musicians.) While so many of those around me were putting stock in that other "grunge" group, Nirvana, I stood behind the ones that always came second on the list of "exciting new alternative acts." Eddie Vedder's compositions and raw, unchained voice--wavering between low whispers, confident proclamations, and guttural growls--found a space in my head and heart, which were usually reserved for shiny, happy pop . Pearl Jam tapped into something I had never explored before: music with a purpose.

It has been an absolute honor and privilege to be able to say I've set the last 20 years of my life to a soundtrack by Pearl Jam. Sure, others have helped along the way--Robbie Williams, White Stripes, Avett Brothers, the Shins, Justin Timberlake, Amy Winehouse--but Pearl Jam never goes away. Just like the Beatles and Elvis have been constants in my life, so shall Pearl Jam be. There has been so many PJ 20 things going on: a three-day Labor Day weekend celebration, the screening of the documentary tomorrow, the constant influx of too much swag to wag a finger at (let alone buy). I don't feel like I need those things, though. I need my headphones and my iPod, Vedder singing in my ears, with McCready's guitar behind him, Cameron's drums bringing him up, Ament's bass holding the line, and Gossard doing, uh, whatever it is he feels like doing during that line. And, if I really feel like sharing the love that I feel, I need my windows wide open, Pearl Jam pulsating out of them into the cooling autumn air, and my breath bonded and intertwined with EdVed's, both of them being released into space. And, for a moment driving around the streets of my town, where I first opened up Ten on cassette 20 years ago, for one moment, I'll be a part of this band that has shaped my life.