The Original Nighttime Soap is Back

Dust off your belt buckles and ten gallon hats, cause Dallas is back, y'all!  It looks more deliciously tawdry than ever, thanks to the lax moral standards on TNT (or any other basic cable network).  Oh, I still remember watching Dallas as a child.  Yes, my parents allowed me to watch Dallas at a very young age, and I still thank them for it.

Oh, the excitement that would race up and down my spine as I'd hear the opening chords of that most amazing theme song every Friday night.  I might even say the most amazingest theme song in the history of television theme songs.  The bold, black stripes that would divide the screen, South Fork ranch spreading majestically across the Texas plain, the glorious downtown Dallas skyline, horses racing across the green fields, and then...there he was...Patrick Duffy!  Yes, Patrick Duffy was a young girlhood crush, and no, the decades-age difference didn't even bother me.  Oh, when Pamela found him in the shower: that look he gave over his shoulder...to die for!

How I loved to loathe J.R. and Sue Ellen!  Such a perfectly suited couple they were: so hateful and vengeful and selfish!  I absolutely adored Miss Elly, too.  She was so gentle, kind, and would totally go to bat for Bobby and the family when J.R. was acting an ass (which, lets face it, he did EVERY episode).  I wanted to live on South Fork, ride the horses, and I think I believe that the theme song would just be pumped through speakers strategically placed throughout the mansion.

I am genuinely looking forward to the reincarnation of the show...even if it does have Jordana Brewster, whose face just kind of annoys me for some unknown reason.  TNT has been churning out some quality programming (Franklin & Bash, anyone!?!), so I have high hopes for this stellar nighttime soap.  South Fork is back, big oil is back, the Barnes/Ewing feud is back...J.R. IS BACK!!!  Buckle up, it's gonna be a hot summer on the streets of Dallas!