How Do You Say "God" in German?

I need to chime in on the recent resurgence of the Hoff, as he has coined himself. (Um, can you even give yourself a nickname?) I loved "Baywatch." I tuned in every Saturday night at 10:30 on my local NBC affiliate. Heck, I even watched the first season on Saturday nights with my mom and brother when it was on primetime. When I was in German in high school, I got wind that the Germans loved Mr. Hasselhoff, so I bought and framed a postcard of him for our classroom. German was much more fun to learn with his baby blues and cheesy grin shining down upon us everyday. But, things have gone too far...

Don't get me wrong, readers: I cheered when he sang and danced as the Wall fell down. I don't know what he's trying to do right now with that stupid talent show he's on. It's too much for me. I caught tonight's episode as he "sang" his new smash hit, and I could only cringe. My wonderful Hollywood friend, Catherine, suggest that I write about the Hoff on this blog, but it brings more pain than joy...especially after tonight's horrendous show. I'd rather remember him behind the wheel of KITT, sucking in his late 30's belly on "Baywatch," and all the countless Germans he brought together than ever see such a catastrophe as tonight's song and dance again.

I love you, David Hasselhoff, but I can never enjoy your newest reincarnation of yourself. It's too much even for this queen of kitsch.